


Strawberry... Kisses

by guns_and_gauntlets (CynicalMistrust)



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Ludger's a pinkist, M/M, Massage, Panties, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 16:44:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6813970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalMistrust/pseuds/guns_and_gauntlets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How had his life gotten so turned around? He'd be lying if he said he hadn't seen it coming, at least a little, ever since that dream; Julius’ voice echoing at the back of his head even if he couldn't remember the words, the phantom pain of his brother killing him before jerking awake. The way everything had seemed to snowball from that moment on…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strawberry... Kisses

Ludger spent as long as possible cleaning up the kitchen after Elle had finally cried herself into exhaustion. Elize had taken her up to their room what seemed like hours ago. As exhausted as he was, he knew he'd be getting no sleep that night. Probably not for several nights.

The silence was deafening as he finally made his way upstairs, slipping into the room he was sharing with Jude, though the doctor was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't sure if he was more relieved or disappointed at that as he sank onto his bed, pressing his arms into his legs and hunching forward.

His mind was numb, his limbs heavy. How had his life gotten so turned around? He'd be lying if he said he hadn't seen it coming, at least a little, ever since that dream; Julius’ voice echoing at the back of his head even if he couldn't remember the words, the phantom pain of his brother killing him before jerking awake. The way everything had seemed to snowball from that moment on… Even his first meeting with Elle and how she'd thrown him to the wolves, and everything that had lead up to him having to kill himself...

Was this what they called Fate? Or maybe karma? He may have been a shit to Julius at times, but did he really deserve _this_?

He buried his hands in his hair as he slumped forward even further. What was he supposed to do? He'd suspected for a while that Elle was his - he couldn't explain the protective urges that went beyond just helping a lost little girl any other way - but having it confirmed like that… seeing what he could become… He was still having trouble wrapping his mind around it all.

The door creaked open and he let out a long breath before dropping his arms, slowly lifting his head.

Jude offered a weak smile as he shut the door behind him. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” He sat up a bit straighter with effort, glancing Jude over. None of them were anywhere near peak condition, but Jude seemed to shoulder the heaviest burden with his dedication to his spyrite research on top of everything else. Jude looked a little refreshed, at least, even if his clothes were a bit rumpled. Or maybe _because_ of that; he caught the lingering scent of Alvin's cologne as Jude tossed his white coat onto the foot of his bed before sinking down next to him.

“How you holding up?”

Ludger shrugged, resisting the sudden urge to just lean into Jude's warmth. He wasn't a child needing comfort; he was the one needing to give comfort now, to be there for Elle especially. “I'm fine.”

Jude shifted, bumping their shoulders together. “Okay… But if you need anything, you know all you have to do is ask.”

Ludger nodded, not trusting himself to speak right then. It wouldn't be fair to ask Jude what he thought he should do; this wasn't his problem, not where Elle was concerned anyway. Was it even _his_ decision to make? Biologically Elle might have been his, but _he_ hadn't raised her, didn't have the memories of seeing her born or watching her grow up, didn't _share_ any memories with her either outside of the past weeks together.

And yet… she was still his responsibility. He couldn't ask the others to bear that kind of burden; he at least was some relation to her. They'd protect her because that was the kind of group they were, but raising her… that was on him, if they both survived all this.

He wasn't sure they would; not both of them, not together. The heavy weight that had formed with that dream was growing heavier each time they destroyed another dimension. He was responsible for those, too. He had so much blood on his hands it was a wonder he wasn't drowning in it. Just another price to add to his debt, one he'd have to pay in full, all at once.

Something hit him between the eyes, startling him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Jude standing in front of him with a sheepish look.

“Sorry, but you kinda looked like you were about to have a panic attack.” Jude lowered his hand, tilting his head before settling back down beside Ludger. “I can't imagine what you're going through… I can leave if you want to be alone though.”

Ludger shook his head, starting to reach for Jude's arm to keep him in place and letting his hand drop between them instead. “Stay?”

“Of course.” Jude glanced over with a smile, reaching for Ludger’s hand and squeezing. “Would you like a massage?”

Ludger’s fingers twitched against Jude's, relaxing minutely at the touch. “What?” He felt his neck warm at the thought of being mostly naked in front of Jude of all people, with nothing giving at least the illusion of clothing.

Jude flushed in response though didn't look away. “A massage. It might help you relax… It helps Alvin and Milla.”

“I don't know…” Despite his aversion to being touched, the ragtag group was starting to grow on him.

Jude huffed and bumped his shoulder again. “You know I _am_ a doctor. I know what I'm doing.”

Ludger felt a smile tugging at his lips. He couldn't really argue with that, and if Jude was doing it for the others, it had to be somewhat effective. “Fine.”

“Good. Undress as much as you're comfortable.” Jude stood and retrieved his pack to rummage through it.

His tie loosened easily enough and he watched Jude procure a bottle from his bag as he unbuttoned his shirt. “You really don't have-”

“I want to.” Jude looked over with a smile, setting the bottle on the nightstand. “It's really no trouble, and it helps me relax, too.” His cheeks pinked a little as he said that and he ducked his head to pull his shoes off.

Ludger raised an eyebrow though chose not to comment. He pulled his tie over his head and tossed it with his shirt on top of Jude’s coat. His pants took longer to remove, hesitating before he finally decided to just get it over with. It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other mostly naked a couple times while roughing it in the wild. He got them half-way down his thighs before remembering what he was wearing beneath them and felt his face heat.

The satiny pink underwear had been the last clean pair in his pack, though he still hadn't figured out how they'd made it in there. He had a feeling Teepo had something to do with it; the damn puppet had been obsessed with him being a “pinkist” ever since finding them in his laundry during a pit-stop in Trigleph.

They weren't even really his; one of Julius’ girlfriends had left them behind and he'd...liked how they felt so he’d kept them

He tossed his pants on top of the rest of his clothes, quickly stretching out on his stomach and pulling the sheets up to his hips. If Jude had seen what he was wearing, he thankfully didn't comment on it.

“This isn't the best kind of bed for this. Do you mind if I straddle your hips?”

“That's fine.” Ludger pushed his arms under his pillow before resting his head on top. Jude's weight as he settled felt strange, but he found himself relaxing rather than tensing for an attack. He watched Jude as best he could from the corner of his eye as he grabbed the bottle, warming some of whatever was inside between his hands.

“This should help with some of these bruises, too.” Jude pressed his hands against Ludger’s back and slid up his spine, across his shoulders.

Ludger meant to give some sort of response, but only managed a soft groan as Jude's fingers dug into his muscles with just the right amount of pressure. His eyes slid closed and he let out a long breath, feeling some of the tension ease as Jude worked. He could feel the strength in Jude's fingers and how much he held back and found himself making soft hums and groans of pleasure.

“Has anyone ever done this for you before?”

Ludger gave a grunt in the negative, not even bothered by the amusement he heard in Jude voice.

“Is the pressure okay?”

“S’amazing.”

Jude chuckled, his hands working lower and digging into the tight muscles of Ludger’s lower back.

Ludger winced, hissing as Jude hit a sore spot. He relaxed again at the soothing wash of healing energy that immediately followed. His muscles started to loosen under Jude's talented fingers. He got close to falling asleep as the minutes ticked by, only aware of the pleasant tingling spreading through his limbs and the scent of mint.

“Okay, roll over.”

Ludger startled fully awake, grimacing at the damp pillow sticking to his cheek. He started to roll over before realizing he was aroused, flushing and burying his face in his pillow. “That's okay. I'm good, thanks.”

Jude shifted off Ludger’s hips, hesitant fingers running through his hair a moment later. “Are you sure? I can… take care of that for you, too. It's a natural reaction.”

Ludger hesitated before tilting his head to glance at Jude. “Are you serious?” Surely Jude wasn't _really_ offering what it sounded like he was offering..? That would be too weird, wouldn't it?

“I wouldn't offer if I wasn't serious.”

Ludger shifted onto his side, catching Jude's wrist as he started to pull his hand away. “Can I return the favor?” he asked, smirking at Jude's flustered expression. He didn't think he'd mind being intimate with Jude, especially when he flushed so easily. It certainly couldn’t end any worse than it had with Aaron, right?

When Jude didn't do anything other than sputter, he leaned forward, tugging Jude closer and brushing their lips together.

“Mmmm.” Jude melted into him, parting his lips on a sigh and flicking his tongue out. “Ludger... Are you sure?”

Ludger nodded, stretching out on his side, warmth spreading out from his gut as Jude tucked up against him, nudging a leg between his. He slipped a hand under Jude's shirt, tracing fingers up his spine before tugging it over his head.

Jude's pale skin showed fresh bruises below his neck, though small enough to resemble... bite marks.

Ludger raised an eyebrow as he ran his fingers over one. “Are _you_ sure about this?” The last thing he wanted was Alvin or Milla after his head.

Jude ducked his head as he flushed again. “They know how I feel about you.”

“Oh?” Ludger tilted his head, curious about that himself. He'd heard Jude's ‘proud to call you a friend’ speech, but this wasn't exactly a situation friends usually found themselves in, was it?

Jude nodded, glancing up at Ludger through his mess of bangs. “I like you. You're an amazing fighter and have a strong moral code from what I've seen. And it's nice to have another do-gooder around,” he added with a lopsided smile.

“Glad you're not just taken in by my looks,” Ludger murmured, smirking at Jude's flustered reaction. He propped their foreheads together and nipped Jude's nose, feeling far more at ease than he had before. “I like you, too. You don't let anyone sway you from your goals or beliefs.”

“Are you calling me stubborn?”

“Yeah.”

Jude laughed and punched him in the shoulder. “You can be a real jerk sometimes.”

“I know. Sorry.” He didn't mean to be, but there were times he couldn't help it. Training to be a Spirius agent his whole life hadn't exactly left him with the best social skills. Or rather, being an indoor kid with few friends likely had more to do with that.

“I was kidding...”

Ludger shrugged, unperturbed, glancing at one of the marks near Jude's throat. He leaned closer, nudging Jude onto his back. “Can I leave one too?” he asked, kissing the warm skin before tracing his tongue against it.

Jude moaned, arching up and clutching at Ludger’s shoulders. “Yeah,” he said, already breathless. He shuddered beneath Ludger as teeth replaced lips, sliding his fingers into silver hair. “Feels good.”

“Yeah?” Ludger glanced up with a smirk and moved to Jude’s nipple, swirling his tongue against it and biting. He couldn’t help doing it again when Jude bit his lip around an obscene moan. It didn't take much more before Jude was a gasping, writhing mess, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded.

“Stop being such a tease.” Jude tugged Ludger back in for a kiss, shifting his hips up to grind against him.

Ludger half-moaned, half-laughed against Jude's lips, but he knew how to take a hint. He slid his hand down to the front of Jude's pants, wiggling inside until he found what he was after.

“Ludger!” Jude’s hips bucked up to press into the fingers. His grip tightened in Ludger’s hair as he arched, pressing his head into the pillows and baring his throat.

That was a temptation Ludger couldn't ignore. He licked up the side of the proffered flesh, sinking his teeth into it as he stroked along Jude's erection. The breathy moans he earned as a result went straight to his own dick and he found himself grinding his hips into Jude's thigh.

Jude shifted with a soft growling sound that was far more adorable than it should have been. “Let me,” he murmured, worming his hand between them and pressing his palm against Ludger’s erection. "Are these why Teepo calls you a pinkist?" he asked with a grin, flexing his fingers to curl around him.

Ludger’s breath caught at the press of warmth against the satin. “Yeah... Feels good,” he moaned.

Jude grinned, expression cheeky despite their position. “Yeah?” he asked, giving a squeeze.

Ludger laughed, tightening his fingers around Jude in return, shifting to pin the other male beneath him. “Yeah.” He mirrored Jude so they each had one hand on each other and the other buried in each other's hair. He flicked his tongue out, tracing along Jude’s lips before slipping past them. Jude felt good, tasted good, smelled good beneath Alvin’s lingering cologne.

They mimicked each other’s strokes, alternating between quick and tight, slow and teasing. Their kisses were lazy, teeth nibbling lips, tongues sliding against each other. Jude tugged the panties aside, getting his fingers on Ludger in a proper grip as they pressed into each other.

At some point, Ludger reached out to link with Jude, curious how it would feel during something other than battle. The feedback of pleasure and desire was breathtaking. It wasn't long until their kisses devolved into open-mouthed panting, fingers gripping dicks and hair alike as their moans grew louder.  

“Jude…”

“Ludger!”

Ludger thrust into Jude’s hand, grunting as he came. He moved his own hand faster, humming as Jude twisted beneath him and came with a shout. With a sigh, he slumped against Jude, nuzzling and nibbling at his neck. “Anyone ever tell you you taste like strawberries?”

Jude laughed before groaning. He pushed at Ludger’s shoulder, pressing his face into his chest. “Not you, too.” His pouting lips left a line of soft kisses up Ludger's throat. “Teepo says my… enthusiasm tastes like strawberries… And Alvin says my… um... “ He trailed off with a furious blush visible beneath his bangs. “Tastes like them,” he added under his breath.

“Yeah?” Ludger lifted his hand, flicking his tongue against the remains of the mess on his fingers. He smirked at Jude’s incredulous squawk, leaning in to take advantage of his surprise and swiping his tongue into his mouth. He felt the way Jude wrinkled his nose and pulled back with a chuckle. “He’s right.”

“Ugh. You two are gross.”

“Says the doctor. I’m sure you’ve seen worse things.”

Jude snorted and reached for the covers, snuggling into Ludger's side. “Where’d you even have strawberries? You can’t find them in Elympios.”

“Elize and Driselle gave me some.” He hummed and wrapped his arms around Jude, surprised how easy it was. They should probably have cleaned up, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about the mess right then, especially if Jude wasn’t bothered. He closed his eyes as Jude’s fingers found their way back into his hair, relaxing with a hum of content.

“Ludger…?”

“Mmm?”

“You sure you're really alright?”

Ludger cracked his eyes open with a sigh. He should have known Jude wouldn't drop it so easily. “Yeah, it's just…” He trailed off, unable to find the words to express his concerns without freaking Jude out.

“Just what?” Jude pulled back enough to look up at him, tilting his head and already looking wary.

“I just have a feeling I'm not going to make it through this,” he said, unable to meet Jude's eyes. Now that he'd said it aloud, it felt far more real. He didn't want to die, but he didn't want Elle to die either. She wasn't a fake, she just hadn't been born in this dimension. Why did that mean she had less right to live than anyone who had?

“Don't say that. You're not going anywhere. And neither is Elle. We'll figure it out, promise.”

Ludger smiled faintly and nodded. He didn't have the heart to argue, especially when he knew Jude wouldn't be swayed.

Maybe they could figure something out between the lot of them. If he could trust anyone to be able to, it'd be Jude. “Okay.” He closed his eyes, catching a hint of strawberry in Jude's scent and breathing deep. Even if he doubted there would be another...night like tonight between them, it was a scent he could get used to. A smile tugged at his lips as the soothing scent helped him drift to sleep.


End file.
